


Perfect

by akayde



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Denial, Ghosts, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Remus deserves better, Remus is dead, Sad, Short, Short One Shot, Sirius Black Lives, Werewolf Remus Lupin, can I please hug sirius, fucking sad tbh, i want to hug them all, im sorry, remus died from werewolf injuries, sirius is grieving, this made me super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akayde/pseuds/akayde
Summary: Remus died. Sirius is grieving.Very short.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 13





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sad

We were the perfect fit, weren’t we?

I can still feel the ghost of your fingertips brushing over my lips, eyes, nose and cheeks. Sometimes when I’m alone I like to pretend you’re still here, lying next to me simply breathing and I listen, I listen to the manifestation of your breaths, _in…out…in…out…in…out._ I count them too, _in…1…out…2…in…3…out…4…_ and I wonder, why did it have to stop? Because we were the perfect fit, weren’t we?

Sometimes I pretend we’re sitting together, arms wrapped around one another, and I listen to your heartbeat, _buh dum, buh dum, buh dum… I count it too, buh dum, 1, buh dum, 2, buh dum, 3, buh dum, 4…_ I found my comfort in your heart, in your love and I wonder, why did it have to stop? Because we were the perfect fit, weren’t we?

James and Lily come over, they talk to me, they want to pretend everything’s normal, but I see the way they look at me, the pity and fear, the sadness and regret, but they don’t know, they don’t know what it’s like to see your ghost dancing to David Bowie in our living room, to see the freedom in the way you move, _my_ freedom, the freedom you granted me, to see you dead and dancing in our living room and I wonder, why did it have to stop? Because we were the perfect fit, weren’t we?

Sometimes I hear the _tap tap tap_ of the rain and I remember how fond you were of sitting in the rain, feeling it slip down your skin, and how unapologetic you were, how you laughed with fat raindrops drenching every bit of you, your hair was darker when wet, your eyelashes clumped together, and you smiled at me holding your hand out; we danced. I hear the pitter patter of the rain and I bury my head into our pillows that I haven’t washed since, you would call me gross and wrinkle your nose, I can practically see it. I bury my head and let your faded smell overtake me, fill me in every sense, I can feel the dread pulling at my gut, twisting and fighting me inside and spreading down my arms, legs, mind and heart. And I remember that night, and I remember you dead. I will never forget you Remus John Lupin, because we were the perfect fit.


End file.
